Thanks to Janet at the Garage for finding this.

JarJar Binks as a Koosh guy.  What the fuck is a kid supposed to do with this?  The kid is like, “What great earth tones!  Lemme play for hours!”  Just imagining the world of imagination necessary to wring some fun out of this this brings on a migraine.  And putting brown pants on a toy? It’s like putting peanuts on pizza.

And I basically like JarJar Binks.  In the great struggle to figure out the just how dark of a heart Lucas really has, the marketing research decision/equation to go with JarJar wasn’t that bad.  Yes I was disappointed when I realized he wasn’t some sort of warrior rabbit like I thought from seeing the trailer in ’98.  But JarJar was a hell of lot better than any other guy in those movies.  And those lines that they wrote for him!  Sheer poetry.

These were only produced in Brazil, and they only made ONE figure in the series: MacGyver. They were right next to the G.I.Joes. A rack for all the different Joes, and a same size rack with ONLY MacGyvers.  They LOVE MacGyver in Brazil, even more than soccer. Kids begged for 2nd and 3rd MacGyvers, so that they could create MORE MacGyverness in there adventures. Adults bought quadruples: one for the dashboard in their car, one for their fireplace mantle, one to guard the salt and pepper on the kitchen table, and one for the medicine chest to wish them “Bons Sonhos” before they go to bed.

“Bons Sonhos” means Good Dreams in Portuguese, the main language spoken in Brazil.

This might be the plainest figure ever made!  He could just be a guy heading over to the supermarket.

Yes, they only made MacGyver, but they made sure to make tons of vehicles for him to crash and drive over cliffs. There’s MacGyver in the middle of it all trying to figure out what happened to all the other people.

I saw some of the spoof MacGruber once but it just seemed like it was almost the same as MacGyver.

Look at that pelvis!  MacGyver don’t need no belt, son!

Such knees!  Such expressionless shoes!

I’m loving how lovingly rendered this is.

This Bunny is right before too-late.  A visit to the Easter Bunny at night on some kind of outdoor gazeebo?  Great.

The win: The girl is barely holding it together, but she IS holding it together because she has her trusty Cabbage Patch Kid with her.