Santa Claus in Bulgaria is more of a Wizardy Warlord than the cheery fat doofus we all love here in the ‘States. He’s really cranky, isn’t fat (he’s a very picky eater) and carries a staff which he refers to as “Reindeer Motivation”. Santa Warlord also hangs presents from the Christmas tree so he can laugh at all the bratty kids jumping in the air trying to get them.
This guy is actually the ghost of an Easter Bunny who’s come back to haunt the good little children with his giant white bow-tie. “Why is your tie white?”, asked the little girl as she put her arm around him. “My bow-tie used to be pink, but it died a horrible death… just like I did”. The little girl called him a liar, threw her pink egg at him and ran away.
Easter is only 195 days from now!
Thanks to Vivian “The Baker” for this polaroid submission!
Saffron (left) & Wanda call themselves “Fashion Twins Activate!” and are 2 of the hottest dressers in the 6th Borough. They also go by “Masters of Coordination” & “US2B2HOT4U” (can’t have too many nicknames in the 6th!). They’re always dressed to the 9’s, always coordinated and almost never clash… unless they meant to.
When I asked them Neighborhood News Question #132 “Why is it important to have style?”, Saffron replied “You gotta have style” while Wanda said, “You gotta stay hydrated too!”. So for all of you shlubby nincompoops out there who’ve given up on their appearances and don’t know what to do… Drink plenty of fluids!
This is Ace Reporter Rubbish The Rat with Your Neighborhood News!