Dave, the 6th Borough Ostrich

Dave is a greedy, unfriendly prick.  Sure I’ve made fun of him on numerous occasions for having such a mundane monicker, but can you blame me? I mean — Dave?  He’s gotten the booby prize almost every month at the Frankie’s Apartment Name Awards Ceremony, when we celebrate the best in baby names, product names, movie names, character names, and nicknames we might have overheard on the street.

 

6th Borough Ostrich

 

Why celebrate every month? Me no know, but I can tell you this: it’s one helluva get-together. And by this I mean UNLIMITED cheese and crackers. We serve a bathtub of crackers. And we erect a wall of cheese. Someone OD’s every month. Literally — a medical heart-stopping overdose. We have an adrenaline shot on hand, like that one in Pulp Fiction. Usually it’s Mr. Parfenix, which is fun because we wait a little bit longer every month to give him the shot.

PEOPLE IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD: Singh!

Singh, possibly the most stylish post office worker in all the six boroughs, says that he wouldn’t know what to do without his Beats By Dre headphones.

 

Singh Profile

 

Singh wears a kurta in regulation post office blue and a two-tone turban wrap method that took him “years to perfect”.

 

Singh From Post Office - WIDE

 

Not everyone likes to use the USPS issued pocket protectors, but Singh says “it guarantees my kurta’s longevity.”

 

SINGH pocket detail

 

Singh is a happy man.

 

Singh - MEDIUM

6th Boro Recap: MARCH

No-No Pipi OK.

 

No Pipi

 

For ALL your Accordion Needs.

 

Storefronts - Main Squeeze

 

Tires.

 

Tires Red Blue

 

Auto Body Red Blue Yellow

 

Discounts.

 

Bondy

 

More Discounts.

 

Discount Agency

 

Three Amigos.

 

3 Amigos

 

Triangle Style.

 

Brick Building Triangle with Balcony Turret

 

Chinatown Arts and Performance Center.

 

Chinatown Arts Center

 

To the left of the garage: Purple Licorice Vapors.

 

Garage with Sun Glare

 

Enith.

 

Storefront - ABC

 

Hosiery, in the ideal sense, is VERY well represented by this storefront.  Hosers everywhere!  You have a clubhouse!  There’s an international Hoser Conference held here every Thanksgiving Weekend.  Mr. Parfenix gives his usual shish-kebab address and Sudsy deejays old anti-stress cassettes.  Me and Rubbish sell fonuts (fake donuts) and foca-fola (thanks Sodastream!) at a table near the bathroom (actually, in the bathroom.  This place is small!).  Computer-Head sleeps on a folding chair and Bill the Snowman tries some of his comedy routine on the rest of the rodents that obviously frequent the nooks and crannies of this fine establishment.

 

Storefronts - Ideal Hosiery

 

Packed every morning.

 

Storefront - Cup and Saucer

 

Not packed every morning.

 

The Place

 

Park wherever you like!

 

VW in front of Stereo Spot

 

Yin-Yang.  Also Mr. Parfenix’s favorite fashion label.

 

Storefronts - Michele Olivieri

 

NN Muffler.

 

NN Muffler

 

But My Ears Hurts.

 

Storefronts - Brick Wall

Coming Soon To a Sweatshirt Near Me

Every Friday, the Frankie’s Apartment gang celebrates at the Oyster Bar in Grand Central Station by eating lobster and sipping Negroni’s.  That’s why we’re making a collab/split label deal with the local copy shop to get this t-shirt graphic done (on a sweatshirt) of the famous Oyster Bar lobster bib.  I asked my waiter if that was OK and he said OK.

 

Oyster Bar Tshirt WIDE

 

Lobster and melted butters.

 

Oyster Bar Tshirt - Lobster CU

 

Lemons to clean your hands when you’re done wearing it.

 

Oyster Bar Tshirt Lemons