“Welcome to the Sixth Borough!” says this enthusiastic pepper over and over and over and over again. All day long. First there was the Welcome Wagon. Now there’s the Welcome Pepper!
Monthly Archives: March 2014
The Children’s Menu at Jahn’s
Jahn’s Ice Cream Parlor in Jackson Heights is famous for it’s delicious ol’ fashioned ice cream and Kitchen Sink Sundae (feeds 8 people!). It’s also famous for their Children’s Menu.
Rambo is still really popular with the kids as is filet of sole which is the star in the Garfield dish. It used to be lasagna, but what kind of crazy kid likes that?
The Japanese classic Roast Turkey comes with a glass of milk too!
I’ve been known to put on a Pokemon t-shirt, pretend I’m 11 years old and order a Road Runner. Juice on cold cereal is what we in the industry refer to as a “NO-BRAINER”!
Shopping Cart Crew
I was snooping around Frankie’s email account and noticed that Computer Head sent a photo of a new crew he discovered. They congregate by the dog pound in Blue Kills Park every morning to catch up and coordinate their shopping routes. Don’t mess with the Shopping Cart Crew!!!
Thanks for the data Computer Head! Anyone know how to mark an email as unread?
Green Bagels Come Only Once A Year
The Red Gum Ghost
The Red Gum Ghost haunts the streets of the Sixth Borough like nobody’s business. He can really get into your hair… and your sneaker soles. Even our ghost Sudsy. who isn’t impressed by anyone, says that RGG is a real bitch. “That boy is a bloody bashing bastard!”. Sudsy later rescinded his praise on Twitter, but let’s ignore that part of it.
BREAKING NEWS: UFO Sighting in Douglaston, Queens
Swedish Meatballs
Old Computer Head
Dave, the 6th Borough Ostrich
Dave is a greedy, unfriendly prick. Sure I’ve made fun of him on numerous occasions for having such a mundane monicker, but can you blame me? I mean — Dave? He’s gotten the booby prize almost every month at the Frankie’s Apartment Name Awards Ceremony, when we celebrate the best in baby names, product names, movie names, character names, and nicknames we might have overheard on the street.
Why celebrate every month? Me no know, but I can tell you this: it’s one helluva get-together. And by this I mean UNLIMITED cheese and crackers. We serve a bathtub of crackers. And we erect a wall of cheese. Someone OD’s every month. Literally — a medical heart-stopping overdose. We have an adrenaline shot on hand, like that one in Pulp Fiction. Usually it’s Mr. Parfenix, which is fun because we wait a little bit longer every month to give him the shot.
PEOPLE IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD: Singh!
Singh, possibly the most stylish post office worker in all the six boroughs, says that he wouldn’t know what to do without his Beats By Dre headphones.
Singh wears a kurta in regulation post office blue and a two-tone turban wrap method that took him “years to perfect”.
Not everyone likes to use the USPS issued pocket protectors, but Singh says “it guarantees my kurta’s longevity.”
Singh is a happy man.