Monthly Archives: January 2013

Mr. Parfenix has a Girlfriend!

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So I guess, “officially” they’re just “hanging out” but Mr. Parfenix doesn’t shrink down all day for just
any pigeon.  Her name is Flappy.  Mr Parfenix was like, “Have you ever heard a more lovely name?”
I took this picture with my telescopic lens from the top of the Zaghaven Spire.  Fortunately I have a permanent
bug on Mr. Parfenix’s cape so I got to eavesdrop on their conversation.  Maybe I should have written “unfortuantely”.  Anyway this is the part of their “date” where Mr. Parfenix was halfway through listing
his 127 favorite bands in order of how much he likes their drummers.
I didn’t know pigeons had such defined eyelids.

Mr. Parfenix has a Girlfriend!

by
So I guess, “officially” they’re just “hanging out” but Mr. Parfenix doesn’t shrink down all day for just
any pigeon.  Her name is Flappy.  Mr Parfenix was like, “Have you ever heard a more lovely name?”
I took this picture with my telescopic lens from the top of the Zaghaven Spire.  Fortunately I have a permanent
bug on Mr. Parfenix’s cape so I got to eavesdrop on their conversation.  Maybe I should have written “unfortuantely”.  Anyway this is the part of their “date” where Mr. Parfenix was halfway through listing
his 127 favorite bands in order of how much he likes their drummers.
I didn’t know pigeons had such defined eyelids.

TRICYCLE CITY: Robotski and Renfro

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TRICYCLE CITY

For those just tuning in, Tricycle City is name for the community of (living) Toys that live in the walls of my building.  For those 80’s NERDS out there (who think everything is a “WHAT-DOES-THIS-REMIND-ME-OF contest), this might make you think of The Littles (a cartoon), which was a lot like The Borrowers (a series of books).  But here, in Frankie’s Apartment, in the semi-magical, electromagnetic, sort-of-in-a-wormhole SIXTH BOROUGH, there are LOST or ESCAPED TOYS that have set up lives for themselves in the walls of Mr. Parfenix’s endlessly confusing building.  I have made friends with my Toys (always a capital T), but other people in the building think they’re pests. That’s why the Melter Brothers Toy Extermination Company does so well here in Zaghaven.
Meet Robotski and Renfro.  They used to help me with my musical co-op BANDY: dropping 808s on the
one, rewinding Tascam Cassettes, making bleep melodies.  Renfro was actually called Ren-4 but I
wrote it down wrong once and the name stuck.  Rubbish loves to jump on a typo and turn it into its
own real word.  Robotski and Renfro are counterparts, like C3PO and R2D2 were, but now that we’re
safe here in 2013, we can say that they are partners.  Gay Robots In Love.  I was the one who married them,
in a lovely ceremony on the roof of one of my dollhouses.  They’ve set up a nice little life for
themselves down in the basement, beyond the boiler, where it’s nice and dry.  Robotski had serious
problems with the humidity in their old apartment behind my bathroom sink.

Morning Glory on Main Street in Flushing, Queens

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When I need to re-up on Hello Kitty Supplies, this is where I go.
They had the Duck Hat I’ve been looking everywhere for!!
I saw this Duck Hat advertised in my Everything Duck Sportswear Catalogue, like 3 months ago, but they
were sold out instantly.  I’ve been scouring the internet for 6 months looking for it.
(NOTE: I went back in time 3 months so I could scour some more.)

Top Look.  It’s a brand to look out for.  Move over Land’s End.  Eddie Bauer, take a shower.
Liz Claiborne, you’re still the best.

Ellie and Min always hook me up with their employee discount.  I tried to barter for one of their
Morning Glory aprons but apparently these are in high demand as well.  Ellie is the kill-you-with-kindness
type, while Min is super-dry and sarcastic.  When I asked them how I looked in my hat, Ellie was like,
“You look very handsome,” while Min said, “You look like a duck.”  Rave reviews!!