Monthly Archives: November 2012

CROCHET PAC PEOPLES

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No characters ever deserved to be crocheted more than the Pac People.  I mean, whenever I play
Pac-Man, or Ms. Pac-Man, or Super Pac-Man, or Pac-Man Jr., I just want to reach my hand into the
video screen and give my Pac People a hug. 

Entertaining millions for more than 30 years, I know the Pacs are proud to be translated into
yarny, disgusting, stuffed animals.

70’s Pattern For Cracked Out Batman Costume

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Batman and Robin?  No way, it’s Batman and Batman Jr.!

I know one thing.  If I got busted by this Batman I’d be terrified.  I mean, he looks insane.
This look reminds me more of this TV-movie called Dark Night of the Scarecrow about a mentally challenged
man who lives on a farm and is regularly terrorized by this crew of rednecks.  One night he hides
in the clothes of his scarecrow, then gets up on the crow-post and just waits.  The rednecks go nuts
and have a great time killing him.  As luck would have it, the mentally challenged guy
comes back to life as a killer not-mentally-challenged undead Scarecrow and seeks his revenge.

Little Batman.

If you make the costume you can use the gloves to work the register at the supermarket too!

Even though the Chrysler Building definitely isn’t in Gotham City, I just want to give props
to the Chrysler Building.

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Right after Hurricane Sandy:
For the record, Tony is his mom and uncle’s lost half-brother.  Remember, Luca’s uncle is my landlord, Mr. Parfenix.  Luca was confused because there was some cousin they recently saw after a long period of not seeing him.  But Tony, their brother, a hell of a guy, is from England, and at 60 years old, looks really good for his age.  Call it Parfenix luck that he came to visit during a hurricane.

Pretzel Duo

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Blueberry Yogurt Pretzel.  Supposed to be the grossest in the great line-up of yogurt-coated snacks.
They aren’t.  They’re OK.  The FDA needs to step in and start regulating the yogurt-coating industry.
It feels super-rogue and not-at-all artisanal or handmade.
I got one word for you: Partially-Hydrogenated-Soybean-Oil.

Prized Possession #77: discontinued pretzel-shaped baby teether.

INTERN DIARY: 10/29/12 – 10/31/12

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Right after Hurricane Sandy:
For the record, Tony is his mom and uncle’s lost half-brother.  Remember, Luca’s uncle is my landlord, Mr. Parfenix.  Luca was confused because there was some cousin they recently saw after a long period of not seeing him.  But Tony, their brother, a hell of a guy, is from England, and at 60 years old, looks really good for his age.  Call it Parfenix luck that he came to visit during a hurricane.

BREAKING NEWS: Twix Wrapper Stuck Under Subway Sign!

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I see this all the time.

The poor little, neatly folded Twix Wrapper was trapped under this sign for nearly 4 days.
It whimpered andsniffled and kept singing the KitKat theme song (oddly).  I went and
checked on it every day to see how it was doing.  Other News Reporters were there of course, similar to
when a kid get trapped in a well. If we were to simply pull it out and toss it in the trash, we’d be messing
with our own story. It’s a question of journalistic integrity.  I’ll do anything for a story, especially if
it’s a completely ridiculous non-story.  I’ll even make things up, that’s how dedicated I am to
internet journalism (just like all the other internet “journalists” out there).  
There’s a Billy Wilder film called Ace In the Hole starring hambone-extraordinaire Kirk Douglas
as a scummy journalist out of Albuquerque who keeps a guy stuck in a cave so he can break the story
and get back to working a big-city beat. My dad hated Kirk Douglas and said he was a schmuck.

INTERN DIARY: 10/29/12 – 10/31/12

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Right after Hurricane Sandy:
For the record, Tony is his mom and uncle’s lost half-brother.  Remember, Luca’s uncle is my landlord, Mr. Parfenix.  Luca was confused because there was some cousin they recently saw after a long period of not seeing him.  But Tony, their brother, a hell of a guy, is from England, and at 60 years old, looks really good for his age.  Call it Parfenix luck that he came to visit during a hurricane.