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| Good for all jobs. Cleaning the toilet, the sink after that snotrag Frankie has had one of his “writing” parties (he cannot write for a toffee) but also good as a daily hair and face rinse. I have found it also good to mix into juice and serve to “friends”. |
Finally. The secret to Sudsy’s (YOUR) ectoplasmic cocktail that you served last Halloween! I knew that the flu wasn’t supposed to last 3 months! And I also knew that you’re not supposed to throw up blood when you have the flu. You said, “Throwing up blood is very healthy, it means it’s working!” Which didn’t make sense at the time, but now…
Anyhow, I can’t wait till next Halloween, because even though your ectoplasmic cocktail is obviously bad for you, it’s also DELICIOUS. Plus it makes you hallucinate.
In fact, I hallucinated my next book, Basketball Eggs, in which a lonely Basketball Player realizes that Basketballs are actually eggs from Basketball Island – so he quits sports and sits on his basketball until it hatches this really cool-looking creature that has a basketball as a head and a body like a Smurf-Dinosaur. When the basketball kid grows up, him and his dad take a trip to Basketball Island where they get eaten by Shark Mazes before they get there. The Basketball Pope (leader of Basketball Island) is looking through binoculars at the time of their death and he is very sad.
In my hallucination the book was a smash hit and they made a movie too. Dave Chappelle came out of hiding to play the Basketball Player, and the guy who played Buddy Lembeck on Charles in Charge (Willie Ames) got the nod to do the voice of the basketball. Me and Jeff played the Shark Mazes and we got to meet Alyssa Milano at the “grand opening” of the movie which played for 2 days at this bodega in East LA.
They had these very interesting corn chips at the bodega called Dog Tongues which Rubbish thought were the bomb. I hated them but I seriously FELL IN LOVE with the package design. For an entire week I was thinking about asking my wife for a separation so I could explore my feelings for the DOG TONGUES PACKAGE DESIGN, but in the end I realized that the Package Design was too good for me, and I’d miss the way my wife laughs at me when I make mistakes.
In closing, say yes to Strong Bleach! Long Live Sudsy! I mean, long sheet.
Obviously Frankie is more of a skittles writer as opposed to a toffee writer.
Sudsy’s gotta know that by now.
I personally thought his cocktail coulda used more windex.
Franoie I’ve told you not to eat all the red candy at once.
But “Eating All At Once” is the best style ever invented.
Drinking all at once is great with soft scrubb to (disclaimer – ONLY ghosts can drink soft scrub and “live”)
Internal bleeding is hardly ever funny. This is one of those rare cases where it is indeed funny.
Also, I loved Willie Ames in Bibleman!
I love Willie Ames in Zapped (One) too, where he and Scott Baio formed their original alliance. Zapped One is the unsung hero of Teen Goof Movies. It’s got a lot going for it. Telekinesis to make girls’ boobs pop out. Cartoon salamis that fire out of a bazooka. The fly logo in the beginning. And Scatman Cruthers.
See what a rabbel my mild mutterings sweetly summon. So I was musing on the idea of it being Sudsey’s Apartment (the classic spelling of my family name). Apparently everyone is into it.
1. I gave you the name Sudsy. There is no “classic spelling” you floating dishtowel! Maybe you would prefer to go back to my original name for you, GERMY. When I met you, you were hanging out with a bunch of cockroaches begging to be included in their parlor games. I saved you from THE ATTIC, I let you talk about all your “feelings” that you had about the events that eventually led to you being a ghost, and what’s more I SHOOK YOUR GLOVE IN FRIENDSHIP. Not to mention BUYING YOU your SIGNATURE YELLOW RUBBER GLOVES. If anyone were to see the charred, gnarly, boiled, puss-ridden tentacles you call GHOST-HANDS — you’d never be on any TV SHOW, SHLOG, BLOG, COMMERCIAL, or 2-bit stage production anywhere outside of JOLLY OLD LIMBO.
2. Have you seen my orange tie, I simply can’t find it anywhere.
3. When you wash my favorite glass (you know the one with the spaceship on it — Not the one with the spaceship getting ready to take off, the other spaceship one where it’s flying in space) PLEASE remember to use LUKEWARM water and a soft piece of COTTON — it’s very fragile and you could rub the paint off. If you had your way you’d use steel wool and a blowtorch to clean everything.
4. In the future, I prefer to take my showers without you standing by to help me with the shampoo. I know you have a very specific shampoo method and that this method is PROBABLY the best method ever invented, but I feel uncomfortable with it. Plus there’s that time when I’m shampooing and I have to close my eyes so as not to get soap in them and you invariably start yelling about my poor shampooing skills and the soap gets in my eyes, etc. The eye doctor said my eyes can’t handle any more shampoo going directly into my eye socket. She said it looked as if someone had forced my eyes open and that shampoo was piped directly into my tear ducts. She said people go blind from that, it’s an old torture method out of Thailand. She said, “Did this happen to you?” and I had to lie to her and say, “No, that’s crazy.”
mad comments yo
That’s a very interesting observation you’ve allowed the world to share with you.
Then what happens to the Basketball Eggs?
Luca is right, there are mad comments…. Yo!
!. Dickhead. I know best.
2. Dickheads. Don’t chime in.
3. You are all guttersnipes and I know best so start learning.
4. Back to 1 IDIOTS
%. Bt the new book about the queen its wonderful. She is such a magical lady. so sublime. she makes me want to give up all my vices. murder, soft scrub, ice skaters, hot ladies ready to roll, cheesecake, christmas cake, pound cake, sponge cake, chocolate cake, carrot cake, coffee cake and religion.