Monthly Archives: June 2012

Wonder Woman Bootleg Toy From Mexico!

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This Wonder Woman toy is obviously being robbed at gunpoint.  The crook has just said,
“Stick ‘Em Up!”

Nice Star Sticker.  I’m going to consider it a part of my star sticker collection.

It’s definitely Wonder Woman because she’s got her lasso.  Unless that’s a big snail she’s got tied to her
belt.  Maybe she’s making Es-Car-Go for Aquaman later.  I hear that he loves Es-Car-Go.
I heard that Aquaman has a bumber sticker on his submarine that says,
“Honk If You Love Es-Car-Go”.

Hey look it’s Wonder Woman’s butt!  Her shorts are totally old and gross.
Come on Wonder Woman!  Go to the American Apparel and get some nice new shorts.
You could go to the Gap, if you want something more conservative, but I don’t think they
have any metallic blue hot pants right now.  Try Patricia Field!

Bill’s Cousin Cecil

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If Sudsy were running this show, it’d be jam packed with guest appearances by boring members of his ghoul family and friends. It’d be a show about a bunch of ghosts, trying to communicate their feelings through songs and study lessons. Every year I give him Ghostbusters on VHS to give him an idea of how much more fun it is to see ghosts get busted rather than see them give lectures on gardening and macro-economics.  Sudsy just does not understand the the human need for action.  Sudsy’s latest screenplay was called The Flower Pot That Sat On The Windowsill.  It’s another one of those on-the-nose titles that have become so popular recently, like Bad Teacher, Horrible Bosses, and Thor.

But this post isn’t about Sudsy. It’s about Bill the Snowman’s cousin Cecil.  He’s a much smaller snowman than Bill, and he’s made out of some sort of old cotton fiber with features made out of fancy-paper.  He’s more of an old-timer, and a little bit out of it (as in senile).  Still, he can be funny in his own way, like if you ask him a question that he doesn’t know the answer to, he’ll just lay a fart instead.  Plus, he’s always going on about Sanka, Johnny Mathis, and how he’s legally blind.

I ran into Cecil one day at a flea market in December.  When he told me he didn’t have anywhere to stay,
I brought him home.  He usually just stays in the crisper drawer in Bill’s fridge, but when it’s cold enough
he likes to chill on the windowsill, next to Sudsy’s flowerpot, and look out the window.  Which is sad,
because, as I said before, he can’t really see.

Cecil’s a good old guy but he’s also a bit of a klepto.                                                                           

If you ever look under his hat…
There’s always some money in there that he’s skimmed off of one of my various hiding spots.
Apparently he’s saving up for this big field trip he’s been planning to the diner around the corner.
Not only is he gonna order all the Sanka he wants, he’s gonna pump the diner-booth jukebox with as many
hits as they have.  I don’t have the heart to tell him the diner doesn’t have the Jukeboxes installed
in the booths anymore and that the kid that serves him will never have heard of Sanka in his life.