Johnson

Don’t ever wake up Johnson from his nap. Not so much because he’s cranky (like your’s truly), it’s just that he won’t stop chatting. This guy loves small talk. Even more than most.
 
johnson
 
“The thermostat says 72, but I think it’s more like 73.”
“Sashes are making a big comeback.”
“I was thinking of maybe going to a Mets game next year.”
“Milk that’s one day past it’s expiration is ok, but 2 days!”
“I like sneakers that are comfortable.”
“I hear the stock market’s doing ok.”
“If I miss my bus, I’ll just take the next one.”
And on and on and on he goes.

Merchandising: The Bottom Of The Barrel

JarJar Binks as a Koosh guy.  What the fuck is a kid supposed to do with this?  The kid is like, “What great earth tones!  Lemme play for hours!”  Just imagining the world of imagination necessary to wring some fun out of this this brings on a migraine.  And putting brown pants on a toy? It’s like putting peanuts on pizza.

 

JarJarKoosh Full

 

And I basically like JarJar Binks.  In the great struggle to figure out the just how dark of a heart Lucas really has, the marketing research decision/equation to go with JarJar wasn’t that bad.  Yes I was disappointed when I realized he wasn’t some sort of warrior rabbit like I thought from seeing the trailer in ’98.  But JarJar was a hell of lot better than any other guy in those movies.  And those lines that they wrote for him!  Sheer poetry.

 

JarJar Koosh CU

Ice Cream Of The Future

Back in 1987, they predicted that Dippin’ Dots would be the “Ice Cream Of The Future”. Fast forward 26 years and we now have ice cream companies that advertise things like “made with real milk” and “locally raised”. That’s all good and nice but my real question is… What ever happened to the future?
 
dippin dots