Monthly Archives: December 2012

99¢ BANK

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OZONE PARK’S EVERYTHING 99¢ occupies one of those old, regal bank buildings.
I can’t decide if this is good or bad.  What I do like is that they painted the old vault yellow and
that’s where they keep the baskets and 99¢ luggage.

The old clock: to show the power.

Santa Robot

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I bought this awesome Santa Robot from a junk dealer in Pennsylvania for what seemed like a steal: $35!!!
When I got home and opened the box, this piece of garbage’s head was broken off and he wouldn’t turn on to play the cool music as advertised on the box.  What a gyp!
Looking at the sad little robot sitting there with his head knocked over,  I was struck by the Yule-Tide bolt of lightning… Isn’t the true Spirit of Christmas when you can love something even when it’s broken down?  Since then, me and this Jolly Jalopy been having a merry ol’ time.  
Merry Christmas everyone from your favorite rat!!!

Snow White and the Five Dwarves

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In honor of Christmas and that awful-looking 15-hour Hobbit Commercial that came out, I’m posting this
wonderful picture of Snow White and the Five Dwarves.  Dwarves are sort of like little Santas, which
is what elves sort of are, but not in Middle Earth.  Santa Elves are more like Middle Earth Dwarves,
which is what Gnomes are like.  Middle Earth Elves are just tall, thin, perfect jerks, sort of like people
in the fashion industry or a certain type of Art World person (Andy Warhol might have been a bit of an Elf).
Santa Elves obviously get down.  Middle Earth Dwarves are more disgusting than Snow White Dwarves.
The weird thing here is that Dwarves are a real thing, but in the stories they’re not supposed to be
regular human Dwarves, they’re a little more like magic Dwarves.  Weirder still is that in Middle
Earth there are Hobbits too — and they’re not Dwarves or Elves or Humans, but we’re
supposed to think that the Humans and the Hobbits got down at one point.  I think.

Best Part: Sleepy is wearing Bashful’s hat and an insane pair of false eyelashes!